Thursday, January 13, 2011

Friday's (Unmerited) Favor: Grace Instead of A Big Ole Adult-Sized Spanking

Two weeks before school began last August, God made it clear to me that I was to homeschool the girls. I was not prepared. I had no idea how to choose curriculum, how to set up a classroom, how to schedule a school day. I was clueless. Thankfully, we have some very good homeschooling friends who have been more than willing to direct and ecnourage us.


I will say this is one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life! I don't have help close-by. I don't have anyone I can call to keep the girls on a moment's notice if something comes up. They are with me pretty much 24/7.

We spent the end of last week trying to catch up from Christmas break and from them all having the flu. They were still tired and feeling puny. I was tired from taking care of three sick children for a week. School wasn't going so well. To say I lost my temper would be putting it mildly. In essence, I threw my hands in the air, and decided to quit. I told the girls they'd be going back to public school on Monday.

We all had a break-down.

The girls cried. I cried. I didn't really want to send them back to school, but I felt I was fighting a losing battle. I was overwhelmed with the fear that I wasn't teaching them appropriately, and that they weren't learning. And I'd had enough of the whining and complaining.

After we all calmed down, I went into my bedroom alone. I prayed a frustrated prayer to God. I told Him if homeschooling is what he wanted from us, He'd have to do it through me. I couldn't do it anymore. A little while later, Grace came to me and reminded me of what I'd told them back in August: Jesus doesn't want us to go to public school; He wants us to homeschool. Those aren't the exact words that I'd told them, but she had understood that God had led us to that decision.

God used her to remind me that He called us to this challenge, and He will give us grace to do it...and do it well. He has given us some amazing grace this week. I've had more patience with the girls. They've had more patience with me. Schoolwork productivity has increased.

You might think I've dumbed-down grace in this post, or that I've misconstrued it. But what I know is that over the last few months, I've lost my temper more times than I can count. I've worried non-stop. I haven't been a good manager of the children He's blessed me with. All of those are sins. And instead of giving me a big ole adult-sized spanking, He's intervened in this homeschooling venture and given us a peace and calmness we don't deserve. And I believe that's grace.

Have there been challenges in your life this week that God has intervened in and given you grace to accomplish?


  1. Rebekah,
    You can rest assured that every homeschooler has gone through the same thing. I know we have-more than once. Beth

  2. I can totally relate to you! And God is always there to give us His grace to make it through... I just have to get my eyes off of myself and put them back on Him. When I am focused on Him our days go so much smoother, I am calmer inside and the fruits of His Spirit are allowed to "bloom" rather than the fruits of my stinky flesh...

    And I can help with your girls if something ever comes up, I understand how that is, as we do not have family close by either, so mine go everywhere with me also!

    I am really enjoying readying your posts and getting to know you better!


  3. i am so glad to know that i am not the only one who loses their more times than can be counted! hang in there girl!