We moved into our new house in May of this year. The trees in our backyard were in full bloom. Lots of leaves. Lots of bushes. Only recently have they lost their leaves. We can finally see glimpses of what's on the other side of those trees. A few houses we'd never seen until now.
I think sometimes we're like those trees. Much of the time we live with lots of layers, hiding. When we start stripping away the layers, we start allowing ourselves and others to see what's there. Most of my life has been spent with layers upon layers disguising what was there all the time. I've finally learned to strip away the layers and just be. Here are a few things I've found, learned and admitted about myself underneath the layers of disguise:
I'm tenderhearted
Being broken is okay
Honesty opens up a whole new world to freedom
I've gotten glimpses of what it means for Jesus to be the lover of my soul
I'm insecure with unfamiliar places and faces
Criticism, even if constructive, crushes me at first, then I rebound
Not everyone shares my love of sarcasm, and I'm learning to downplay it
Disagreeing with someone does not mean I don't like them
I don't particularly like to be alone
I'd rather have a heart-to-heart than chit-chat with someone
There are things I know God has called me to do, but I feel completely unequipped, so I don't do them
Those seem like silly things to have to learn about myself...like I should have already known those things. But it is what it is.
What about you? Are you hiding behind layers? Or have you stripped them off to find things you didn't know (or maybe you knew, but you hadn't admitted them)? Do you let other people see those things?
There is a lot to be learned, even about ourselves. Everyday I am surprised by what I learn about my own self. I identify with most of the things you listed. I am surprised at how much learning I do at 33. I think I thought that when I became a grownup, I would know everything about myself and be finished learning in that way, but some days, I feel as though life has just begun and it is kinda fun at times, and not so fun at other times, like when I am exposed and did not want to be.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've learned recently - I'll just be transparent - I stink at calling people or writing people back in a timely manner (I'm not talking about to you either.) I string them along thinking I have plenty of time to respond when they are waiting and need to know something. I don't know why I do this, but I do. I don't like this about myself, but I don't know how to balance demands on my time.
Love this...can so relate! This has been a year of pruning and God is stripping away the layer and revealing to me what's really in my heart- eeekkk!
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