Sometimes I Stop Believing

My favorite song on my running playlist is Don't Stop Believing by Journey. When I think I can't run another step, when I think my lungs are going to collapse, I think of those words: Don't stop believing.

Lately I need to apply those words to more than just running...because sometimes I want to stop believing...in myself, in others, in God.

I'm finding it hard to believe that...

• God seems to be actually fulfilling the dream He placed within me, and that I won't screw it up somehow
• setting personal boundaries is good and necessary
• there are people who don't always hurt and manipulate others

Those are the areas in which I've most often stopped believing, or at least struggled with, throughout my life.

I stopped believing God would fulfill the dream. In fact, I stopped believing that God ever even gave the dream. Now that the dream seems to be turning into reality, I find it hard to believe that God would use me.

I never knew about boundaries until a few months ago. I didn't know I could have a say about what I allowed into my life. While boundaries have been good for me, there are people who don't like or appreciate the ones I've set. It would be easy to stop believing that boundaries are good and necessary.

I remember the day I quit believing that people are good and trustworthy. I closed off my heart and learned to be numb. But there have been some along the way who have shown me that people exist who don't intentionally hurt and manipulate others. But after a few recent, unexpected blows, I find it easy to revert back...to stop believing that there are people who don't hurt and manipulate others.

I'm reminded of this little phrase tucked away in the Bible in what's known as the Love passage: Love...believes all things. Love believes God is good, and He is for me. Love believes I am valuable and worth protecting. Love believes the best of others, and offers grace for the worst. Love doesn't stop believing.