My friend, George Vinson, {who recently guest posted here} wrote a song several years ago that has become one of my favorites. It's fascinating to me how lyrics can mean something to the writer, but something totally different to the listener. I know and appreciate the story behind I Will Trust In You, but when I apply the lyrics to my life, they fit just as well:
When I am alone
I will trust in you
When all hope seems gone
I will trust in you
When I am afraid
I will trust in you
And I can’t find my way
I will trust in you
It’s you I trust
Your word I praise
I will not be afraid
When I am alone
I will trust in you
When I am ashamed
I will trust in you
When I am to blame
I will trust in you
When I am confused
I will trust in you
And I can’t seem to choose
I will trust in you
It’s you I trust
Your word I praise
I will not be ashamed
When I am afraid
I will trust in you
When I am alone…
I will trust in you…
(Listen here)
The words that pierce my heart and bring tears to my eyes almost every time are:
When I am ashamed...
When I am to blame...
When I am confused...
And I can't seem to choose...
Those are the places I lived for so long...confusion, blame, shame, not knowing what choice to make. The difference between the story of my past and the lyrics to this song is that I didn't trust God. I thought I knew best, and by the time I realized I didn't, I was afraid to trust Him. I was afraid He was angry with me, and ultimately, no longer loved me. I thought His love for me was based on my performance. I didn't trust in Jesus' completed work.
For so long, I couldn't say, I will not be ashamed.
I've been learning that even when I am to blame, even when I am ashamed, He still loves me. He's still faithful. He's still trustworthy. Even when I am confused, I can trust He sees clearly. Even when I can't seem to choose, I can trust that His plans will be fulfilled.
No matter the circumstances, may my story {and yours} now and forever be...
I will trust in you.
**George recently shared his story and song at Hunter Street Baptist Church. You can watch it here.
I've been meaning to comment for a while now, but I haven't had the chance. Your last several posts have been real, raw, honest, and thought provoking. There's been a depth to them that I don't see very often. I've been amazed by the parts of your journey that you've been sharing and excited about reading more about where God is taking you.
ReplyDeleteHeather, good to hear from you! Thanks for your kind comment. I'm excited to share more of what's going on as the time comes! Hope y'all are doing well!!
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