A Shofar, A Word, And A Battle

I absolutely wouldn't classify myself as charismatic. Far from it, in fact. However, I've been meeting with some charismatic ladies in a group study setting. We recently went on a field trip to a charismatic church where I encountered all kinds of things I've been warned against. I was a little freaked out to begin with and had a few questions for the person sitting next to me. In fact, I kept telling her, This is foreign to me. Knowing my background, she'd just nod and smile. {Seriously though, I thought I might run for the door when I heard the shofar for the first time!}

But as I settled in, God whispered healing words to my heart. He told me He was with me the very day I quit believing I was lovable. He told me He doesn't see me as I see myself; He sees what He created me to be...His bride.

As the night came to a close, something else I'd never experienced happened. The pastor asked several people on the church's ministry team to "speak a word" over some of us ladies. {At that point, I was intrigued, but at the same time, ready to bolt. That's just one of those things us Southern Baptists don't do.} Esther was first to speak. Guess who her word was for? Yep! Non-charismatic me. I thought, Of course, it's me. I've been sitting back here weeping like a crazy woman, hoping nobody noticed me, but knowing everybody did! Who wouldn't have a word for me?!

I still don't know if I buy into "speaking a word," but God must've given Esther the words for me. I won't get into the specifics of what she said because it still kind of freaks me out, but I'll share the general idea. She said she saw the old, dead parts of my life falling away, and a new bud bursting forth, as if in a new season of life, in which God will fulfill the dreams He's placed within me. As I listened, I sat stone faced without moving a muscle, but my mind was racing...She can't possibly know what's going on in my life! God must be speaking confirmation through her.

A few more words were spoken over other ladies, and the service ended. I'm pretty sure I was the first person out the door. Even so, I was aware that God had specifically spoken to me. I shared my experience with my husband and with a friend who has a charismatic background. Neither could disagree that Esther's words lined up with the events taking place in my life.

In the two weeks since that night, I have struggled. Obviously, God has plans for my life. More than ever, I'm aware that the enemy does as well. Conflict has been the name of the game for the past two weeks. I know Who wins the war, yet I find myself amidst a battle. I think the quote below sums it up pretty well: