Ministry...Really, God?

Nearly eight years ago, I attended a women's conference that God used to change the course of my life. I was fully aware of God's calling. I surrendered.

Ministry: something I said I'd never do. Really, God? Are you sure?

Yet, I spent the next two and a half years seeking which direction He wanted me to go. I talked to many people. I received a lot of advice, much of it bad. Many people promised me help, but never followed through. It wasn't long before I became frustrated with trying to be obedient, gave up hope, and tangled myself in a web of sin.

I realize now that while I'd surrendered to God's calling, I wanted people to help make it happen. And when people failed me, I turned my back on them and God.

Here I sit, all these years later, still knowing that God called me to ministry. And He is pushing me forward again, albeit slowly.

I first believed God was calling me into a ministry to lead women's worship through music. I have a passion and love for that, but have removed myself from the women's ministry loop. It's an arena that I can only step back into with the assurance that God is placing me there.

I now believe He is calling me in a different direction. I don't feel the freedom to publicly say where just yet. And while I've tossed out ideas to friends for feedback, I'm waiting on God alone to open doors.

This is just me saying, I know God has called me into ministry, and I'm pretty sure I'm wading into unfamiliar territory. The area He's calling me to is unfamiliar to the church. The research I've done shows that there is very little information or availability to the church in this type of ministry. But there is a desperate need.

Please pray with me that I will only walk through doors that God opens.