Seven years old was much too young to start keeping such heavy secrets. But I was scared. And I remember being told that bad things would happen if I said anything to anyone. But I did anyway. I told a friend at school. And I was immediately fearful; so I told her that it wasn't real...it had only been a dream.
The next big secret came when I was ten years old. No one could know. In fact, stories...lies...were formed to conceal the secret. I think I told anyway...I can't remember for sure. While some memories about that time are vivid, others are blurry. It was a life-changing secret.
From there, the secrets piled on. By my teenage years, I was keeping my own secrets....of things I did, thoughts I had, questions that plagued me.
By the time I became an adult, secrecy was a way of life. I had learned to keep things to myself, and wear a smile. I buried emotions. As long as no one knew the real me, life could carry on. I was convinced that if secrets were exposed, life would shatter before my eyes.
Little did I know that telling my secrets...the truth...in a safe setting would set me free to finally live. It was finally okay to put a voice to my life.
Justin and Trisha Davis of Refineus.org shared their hearts on this topic last weekend. I watched the video yesterday, and highly recommend you do too. To watch, click here.