I love to sing. I don't just like to sing. I L.O.V.E. to sing. It's a deep-down-inside-of-me passion.
There was a period two years ago when I thought I was done singing. I really thought my years of singing had been a season, and that season was over. I was devastated. But, I didn't see a way around it. I was living with a weight of guilt and shame upon me, and I didn't see how God would ever allow me to be used again, especially in a way that I so dearly love. I would sit in the church pew and listen intently to the choir. Sometimes I would sing along...loudly, I might add. Sometimes I would listen and cry silently. But, I really didn't believe I'd ever be part of a choir again. I felt as if a part of me had died. And I was in mourning. And I was guilty.
I've referred before to a sermon my pastor preached in January, 2009. He talked about how Peter had been a follower of Christ, an adamant one who said he'd never deny Him. Only He did deny Him...three times. But, Peter's story didn't end there. God went on to use Peter again! My healing came during that sermon, and so did my freedom to sing again! God not only redeemed me, but He restored me. He restored the use of my love of singing. He allows me to stand before Him publicly to sing. He allows me to embrace the words I sing and use them as an act of worship to Him. He allows me to sing with a big, cheesy smile on my face...because He knows that smile is one tiny way of telling others how much I love the One I sing about.
I'm so thankful to sing as though I never did before my healing. I'm so thankful God loves for me to sing to Him.