In the homeschooling process, I've learned something about my children: they want me to give them the answers instead of studying and figuring things out. They want to take the easy route. But I insist that they keep trying and keep searching. I usually sit and watch. I guide them in the right direction. Sometimes I'll give them a little hint. But mostly I just silently watch them. They look at me to make sure I'm still there. They sometimes beg me for the answer. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they get angry with me. If they write a wrong answer out of frustration, I make them try again. When they reach their absolute breaking points, and still don't know the answer, I'll work patiently with them to show them how to find the answer. And, at that point, they are usually grateful.
I've found out the same thing about myself. I want God to speak to me, to give me answers. To hand me the easy way. And, sometimes He just doesn't. Sometimes He is absolutely silent. And I find myself begging Him. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get angry with Him. I've figured out that He's not silent because I've done something wrong. That's what I've always thought. I've had the mentality that if God's not speaking to me, I must've done something to make Him mad. Isn't that absurd? Sometimes He just wants me to sit quietly with Him, with my eyes on Him. He wants me to meditate upon His Word. To keep asking for guidance. To wait. And when He does finally speak with an answer, to thank Him. For in that process, I learn to trust Him...to wait on Him.
Psalm 62:5a - My soul, wait in silence for God only. (NASB)