Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Just As I Am

My friend and I were talking about how easily we distract ourselves. We're much alike, and neither of us particularly cares for silence. However, she mentioned that someone had recently suggested she quit distracting herself and be alone with God. I thought it was good advice, and acted on it.

I drove along the interstate alone, silenced the radio (blasphemy!), and began to talk with God. I asked Him to speak to me. Within moments, He whispered to my soul, I love you. I continued talking, asking for more. He repeatedly responded with I love you.

After several times, I became a little frustrated: God, I know you love me. I don't wonder about that. Don't you have anything else to say?

What He said next surprised me. I accept you. He knew the longing of my heart without me even having to say it. I long to be accepted just as I am...while I work out my salvation, while I question almost every belief I've ever held, while I dive deep into knowing grace. Most people don't like those murky waters, accepting those of us trudging through them only from an arm's length, if at all.

I was so suprised and taken aback by those three words that I didn't dare ask Him to say them again. So I kept talking to Him about all the reasons people reject me. Shouldn't He agree with them? As if to seal it in my heart, mind and soul, He repeated Himself, almost firmly, I accept you.

In the quiet moments alone with Him, God intimately made me aware that He loves and accepts me....just as I am.

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