Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I find it extremely intimate when God repeatedly confirms things to me through people who really have no idea what's going on in my life.
Several months ago, as I was preparing to begin work on the music project, questioning why He would even allow me such a gift, He said: This is bigger than you. It was such a clear statement, I haven't been able to forget it.
The closer the time comes to release the project, the more difficult life becomes. The battle is intense as I fight to find freedom from fear, people-pleasing, religious condemnation, and unhealthy relationships. It's a bit of an understatement to say I was feeling somewhat defeated this past week.
But God...in His intimate way...has reminded me of His plan.
My family and I were on the way to church Sunday morning when my ever-observant middle child exclaimed, Look! There's a huge rainbow! I thought immediately of God's promises. Just as quickly, I dismissed the rainbow.
Upon arriving at church, I sang with the choir words that sent tears streaming down my cheeks: My hope is in the Lord from this time on and evermore...those who hope in Him will find their hearts at rest.
Next, I went to our small group meeting where a discussion was underway about how God's promises and plans could not be thwarted. Our teacher, who knows almost nothing of the challenges I've faced lately, said, God's plans are bigger than us.
Finally, I went to my voice lesson yesterday, where my vocal coach and I spent most of the hour discussing what God is doing in my life. Honestly, the conversation had absolutely no reason to go in that direction. But God had words to inscribe upon my heart, and how better to do it than through someone who barely knows me? As my coach and I were discussing the music project and struggles that have taken place in my life, he said, I don't know where this is headed or what will take place, but it's big.
I am completely humbled and overwhelmed by my Father's intimacy. Thankful seems too small a word to describe how grateful I am that He chooses to use me and chooses to confirm His plans for me. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm trusting that He is working for my good and His glory in ways I can't even see.