The Message puts some Scriptures in whole new perspective for me. As I was reading Psalm 51, a couple of verses jumped out at me, and I responded with, Yes, that's my heart's cry:
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. (v. 13)
Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice. (vs. 16-17)
Over the past few days, my beliefs have been called into question, creating doubt in me. I've questioned God's grace, His goodness, His forgiveness and His mercy. I took my questions to Him.
Have I got it all wrong, God? If this is not who you are, show me.
Each time I prayed and searched His Word, He reminded me of the moment I was face down on my floor, weeping and begging for His grace and mercy. He reminded of the many people He's put in my path that He's prompted me to share my grace story with. He reminded me that He was gentle and merciful in the consequences He gave me.
He reminded me of my relationship with Him.
Then He gave to me the above verses. And my heart cries, Yes! I want to keep sharing His story in my life so that others can find their way back to Him. Yes! After so many years of performing, I'm finally learning "God-worship," and I never want to go back.
I am sorry that your beliefs were called into question. The more I learn about grace and freedom, the more I believe I might be called a heretic one day, because it seems so different from what I once believed. It is freedom. He speaks to me. He guides me. He is real. It is not about me or my striving but about Him. He has set the captives free and I was one of them.
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