When You Can't Pray Anymore

I sat in my rocking recliner next to the large windows overlooking the front yard. I'd spent days and nights praying, begging God to make me feel right. To make me feel like the wrong was undone. To make me forget everything I'd done. To make it all go away. As I sat there reading my Bible, looking for some sign that everything was going to be better, my frustration grew. I didn't know another single way to ask God, tell God, or beg Him to make me feel like my world wasn't upside-down. Two single tears turned to floods of weeping as I realized I just couldn't pray anymore. My words {which I didn't consider a prayer} were God, I can't do this anymore.

In the moments that followed, a peace settled over me. Those were the moments when the healing process began. In my letting go, I discovered His holding on. He heard the surrender in my silence. Surrender is the starting place for a new normal and a different ending to your story.

We're often like a two-year old fighting bedtime, thrashing and avoiding the coming calm. But when the child realizes her parent has a firm and calming hold on her, she eventually surrenders to sleep. God waits for us to realize He's not letting go and that it's safe to surrender to His firm, healing hands.

When you can't pray, surrender to the silence. He's listening to your heart.