I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: many Christians don't like honesty. We like to pretend, and we like for others to pretend. We're good at happy faces and I'm fine responses. We pretend that a curse word never pops in our heads, and that we always have a good attitude.
Today my eight year old read this sentence in her spelling book: God knows our every thought. She looked at me and asked if He knows the bad words that she sometimes thinks. Yep. She asked if I ever thought bad words. Yep. I explained that we should ask God to forgive us for those bad words, and that we should think on things that are lovely, pure, noble, of good report, etc. so that we don't dwell on bad words. However, sometimes bad words just pop in our heads, and heavens-to-betsy, out of our mouths. And God knows it. Guess what?....He still loves us.
Then tonight a friend at church made a comment and followed it with, I'm just being honest. Being the sarcastic person I am, I said: Better not do that. We don't like honesty.
It's true.
We don't want people to know the ungodly things about our lives. And we want to pretend that no one else in church has ungodly behaviors either. I'm here to burst the bubble. We all, every single one of us, sin.
As much as I want to be holy and godly, and portray that to others, sometimes I'm just not. Don't get all upset and think I'm making excuses for sin. I'm just saying that it's a fact that we all sin. I want to be that stay-at-home, homeschooling mom who is always content. I want to read my Bible and spend time with Jesus every morning. I want to glorify God. I want to be kind and show love to every person I come in contact with. I want to be a good wife.
But...the truth is...
I don't always do it. And while it's not okay to live a lifestyle of sin, I'm not going to lie and say I don't ever. Truth is, sometimes I yell at my kids. Sometimes bad words pop out of my mouth. Sometimes I'm jealous. Sometimes I'm selfish. Sometimes I'd rather listen to Guns N Roses and Poison than to Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin. Sometimes I just want to do what I know I shouldn't. Sometimes...
Before 2006, I never would've been honest about my sometimes. But if there's anything I've learned, it's that honesty brings hope and healing to myself and others. You may be offended by my sometimes, and that's okay with me. I know the One who can handle my honesty and loves me anyway.
Are you honest with yourself? Are you honest with your Christian friends?
I value honest 'real' friendships and people. Discernment is the key, there is a time to be totally honest and a time to use caution and wait. It is not ok to lie but ... sometimes it is not ok to blatantly say 'what we feel'.
ReplyDeleteI love this post...I so want to be all that you described in this post...I get so discouraged and irritated when things don't turn out that way....and yes we do "pretend" that everything is fine...when in reality we are about to fall apart...thank you so much for sharing this and putting pen to paper or keyboard to screen...LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful, honest, heart-felt post! I feel the exact same way! I grew up in a church that had the unwritten rule of "you can do whatever you want during the week, but you should be reserved on Sundays and Wednesday nights". I didn't know any different until my husband and I moved away and found the best church ever. They taught us the real meaning of being a "Christ-follower". They taught us honesty...we fail, we seek forgiveness and do it all over again..
ReplyDeleteI fail, but no that I am forgiven....sometimes (a lot lately) I yell at my kids, cuss in my head, and I don't really like contemporary Christian music! I really appreciate your post. Thank you thank you!! Love your sweet blog!