I have over 600 Facebook friends, very few of whom I see on a regular basis. Most of the people on my friend list are from some part of my past, from some place I once lived. Fragments of me are scattered from one side of the state of Alabama to the other.
Recently, my Facebook news feed has been covered with You know you're from (fill in the blank) if you've ever... If you spend any time at all on Facebook, you've probably seen it too. Friends from all across the state have been posting to those walls like crazy. I find them interesting to read because I remember so much of what they mention. Yet I haven't posted on a single town's wall. I don't post the things I remember because of one little word: from.
I don't have a hometown. I lived a lot of places, but I'm not from anywhere. Home has always been wherever I lived at the moment. I've lived in my current location for ten years, but I don't call it my hometown. It's not where I'm from. Yet, I don't have a place to go back to either.
I attended a funeral yesterday, and on the ride home, I wondered aloud to my husband, I don't know where I want to be buried when I die. Jokingly I said, Maybe I should be cremated and my ashes scattered across the state.
I lack a sense of belonging. And it's bothered me lately. Seeing all the Facebook posts and attending the funeral have frustrated that lack of being from somewhere and the emptiness I tend to feel because of it. God knows that frustration and need I have to belong somewhere. Anywhere. And during my run this morning, a song came on I'd never before heard. God showed me where I belong...where I'm from.
If you lack a sense of belonging, listen to this:
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Perspective
Jane married young, confident of the bright future ahead of her, but life hasn't turned out quite like she expected. She never expected to single mom of three at thirty. She never expected her ex-husband to be a dead-beat dad. She never expected life to be so hard.
Jane works diligently 40 hours per week at a decent-paying job, but it's just not enough to make ends meet, much less have money left over for extras. Paying the rent, utility bills, and childcare fees eats up her paycheck. Her small children don't get the pleasure of summer vacations or even a night out at the movies. Her pillowcase is stained from the tears of worry that stream down her cheeks each night when she finally puts the day to rest.
School starts soon. Jane isn't worried about getting her children name-brand backpacks and shoes. She doubts she'll be able to afford backpacks and shoes at all. She can't even afford groceries and toiletries for her own family. She wonders how in the world she'll afford school supplies.
Jane works diligently 40 hours per week at a decent-paying job, but it's just not enough to make ends meet, much less have money left over for extras. Paying the rent, utility bills, and childcare fees eats up her paycheck. Her small children don't get the pleasure of summer vacations or even a night out at the movies. Her pillowcase is stained from the tears of worry that stream down her cheeks each night when she finally puts the day to rest.
School starts soon. Jane isn't worried about getting her children name-brand backpacks and shoes. She doubts she'll be able to afford backpacks and shoes at all. She can't even afford groceries and toiletries for her own family. She wonders how in the world she'll afford school supplies.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
My Little Piece Of the Blog World
This month marks a year since I began regularly blogging. It's taken a while, but after trial and error, I think I've figured out my little space in the big world of blogging.
I write because it's therapeutic for me. Writing about my experiences helps me figure out what it is God's teaching me and where He's leading me.
I write because I hope someone else can identify with the joys, struggles, and questions I experience. I usually learn things the hard way, and if one sentence out of a multitude of blog posts helps someone choose a different path than I have, it's worth every word. And if someone has chosen the hard way of doing things, then I hope the peace and joy I've found in God's grace helps to direct them to Him.
I write because this little space of mine is one of the very few places I can paint, splatter and repaint the words and thoughts that drift through my heart and mind. In a verbal situation, I often keep my thoughts/opinions/beliefs to myself. But here is where I find release.
Over the past year, I attempted to gain more followers through contests. Stats are apparently a big deal in blogland. But a couple of months ago, God showed me that He would bring the people who needed to identify with my experiences. No contests needed. I gave up the approval of followers.
I also attempted to write about set topics on specific days...another biggie in the blog world. That didn't work out too well for me. I would sit for hours, staring at a blank New Post screen, beckoning words to enter my brain, only to walk away frustrated. I've learned to sit and write when God gives me the ability.
All in all, my little piece of the blog world has been a blessing to me. I've met people I would've never otherwise met. I've learned that sometimes I have to dig deep to discover what it is I believe. And, probably, most importantly, I've realized that people just want the freedom to be real with one another and to be loved just simply because they are human...no strings attached.
I write because it's therapeutic for me. Writing about my experiences helps me figure out what it is God's teaching me and where He's leading me.
I write because I hope someone else can identify with the joys, struggles, and questions I experience. I usually learn things the hard way, and if one sentence out of a multitude of blog posts helps someone choose a different path than I have, it's worth every word. And if someone has chosen the hard way of doing things, then I hope the peace and joy I've found in God's grace helps to direct them to Him.
I write because this little space of mine is one of the very few places I can paint, splatter and repaint the words and thoughts that drift through my heart and mind. In a verbal situation, I often keep my thoughts/opinions/beliefs to myself. But here is where I find release.
Over the past year, I attempted to gain more followers through contests. Stats are apparently a big deal in blogland. But a couple of months ago, God showed me that He would bring the people who needed to identify with my experiences. No contests needed. I gave up the approval of followers.
I also attempted to write about set topics on specific days...another biggie in the blog world. That didn't work out too well for me. I would sit for hours, staring at a blank New Post screen, beckoning words to enter my brain, only to walk away frustrated. I've learned to sit and write when God gives me the ability.
All in all, my little piece of the blog world has been a blessing to me. I've met people I would've never otherwise met. I've learned that sometimes I have to dig deep to discover what it is I believe. And, probably, most importantly, I've realized that people just want the freedom to be real with one another and to be loved just simply because they are human...no strings attached.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
From Homeschool To Public School
After homeschooling last year, my three girls will rise and shine {okay, well, rise...I don't know about shine} very early on Thursday and head back to public school. I'm nervous, and yet, excited. The girls are very excited. They can't wait to be with their friends every day.
My wise friend Ashley, who I quote often, says, Our job as parents is to teach our children to love God and others, and to teach them to grow up to live indepently in the world.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to homeschool last year. But it was a strong leading, so we did it. I can't say I kept the girls from any harm in public school. Or that there was something we did while homeschooling that made a huge impact on them. But, I do know this: I now know my children better...their personalities, their learning strengths and weaknesses. And because of that, I'm prepared to send them into the world of public school, confident that we are all prepared for whatever this year holds.
I'm prepared to help with homework, to talk with teachers about my childrens' learning habits, to get help if we need it. I was never confident in these things before homeschooling. I'm also prepared for my children to hear conversations and words that I'd rather them not; to struggle through being, as well as finding, faithful friends; to see and experience things I might not choose for them. I'm ready, and they're ready, to participate in the public school experience. Before homeschooling, I was terrified of what each day of public school might hold. Now I'm confident that we can be an active part of "the world" without feeling the desire to shelter them.
I think I've taught my children to work out problems on their own: schoolwork-related, as well as relationships. I endured many days last year of hearing, But I can't do this by myself. I need you to help me. But by insisting that they keep trying, they learned how to think for themselves {at least a little bit more than they had been}. I also endured many long days of hearing, She's bothering me. Make her quit. But by insisting that they learn how to work out their differences, after a while, they actually enjoyed each other for extended periods of time. The girls know they can come to me and ask for help about anything, but they also know I'm not going to make a big deal over or fix petty relationship annoyances. {Of course, if someone were intentionally being harmful to them, I'd jump right in!} But I think that's part of teaching them to be independent: sometimes there are things you have to do, and people you have to deal with that you just aren't going to particularly like.
Most importantly, I think we've all learned a little more about loving God and others. They got the chance to be active participants in helping others in ways that otherwise they'd never have had the opportunity. They handed out food to those in need, they entertained precious little children whose parents were getting help, they organized items at a ministry house, they spent time seeing other sweet volunteers serve out of love. And I hope they learned that all of it meant nothing if done without love.
Yes, I'm so thankful they had the opportunity to homeschool last year. And I'm so thankful they have the opportunity to go to public school this year, where hopefully, they can take what they learned last year, and influence other students' lives.
There's just one thing I'm not quite sure we're ready for: the alarm clock!!
My wise friend Ashley, who I quote often, says, Our job as parents is to teach our children to love God and others, and to teach them to grow up to live indepently in the world.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to homeschool last year. But it was a strong leading, so we did it. I can't say I kept the girls from any harm in public school. Or that there was something we did while homeschooling that made a huge impact on them. But, I do know this: I now know my children better...their personalities, their learning strengths and weaknesses. And because of that, I'm prepared to send them into the world of public school, confident that we are all prepared for whatever this year holds.
I'm prepared to help with homework, to talk with teachers about my childrens' learning habits, to get help if we need it. I was never confident in these things before homeschooling. I'm also prepared for my children to hear conversations and words that I'd rather them not; to struggle through being, as well as finding, faithful friends; to see and experience things I might not choose for them. I'm ready, and they're ready, to participate in the public school experience. Before homeschooling, I was terrified of what each day of public school might hold. Now I'm confident that we can be an active part of "the world" without feeling the desire to shelter them.
I think I've taught my children to work out problems on their own: schoolwork-related, as well as relationships. I endured many days last year of hearing, But I can't do this by myself. I need you to help me. But by insisting that they keep trying, they learned how to think for themselves {at least a little bit more than they had been}. I also endured many long days of hearing, She's bothering me. Make her quit. But by insisting that they learn how to work out their differences, after a while, they actually enjoyed each other for extended periods of time. The girls know they can come to me and ask for help about anything, but they also know I'm not going to make a big deal over or fix petty relationship annoyances. {Of course, if someone were intentionally being harmful to them, I'd jump right in!} But I think that's part of teaching them to be independent: sometimes there are things you have to do, and people you have to deal with that you just aren't going to particularly like.
Most importantly, I think we've all learned a little more about loving God and others. They got the chance to be active participants in helping others in ways that otherwise they'd never have had the opportunity. They handed out food to those in need, they entertained precious little children whose parents were getting help, they organized items at a ministry house, they spent time seeing other sweet volunteers serve out of love. And I hope they learned that all of it meant nothing if done without love.
Yes, I'm so thankful they had the opportunity to homeschool last year. And I'm so thankful they have the opportunity to go to public school this year, where hopefully, they can take what they learned last year, and influence other students' lives.
There's just one thing I'm not quite sure we're ready for: the alarm clock!!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Survival
My husband and I like to watch reality shows in which people tell their stories of surviving tragedies. We've watched some crazy stories, like the couple who was on a date in the mountains and got separated from their tour group. They spent days lost in the mountains with no food, shelter or warmth. I'm always amazed at the choices people made to get themselves into the situations, not realizing their very lives were about to be challenged. I often tell my husband during these shows, If we were to be in that situation, you need to go ahead and know that I am not going to survive. I WILL die.
You see, I've never been one to fight for myself. I often do things I don't want or have time to do just so I won't make someone upset or angry. I often allow people to say things to me that I shouldn't allow. My friend often reminds me, Don't be a doormat.
Probably for the first time while watching one of those shows the other night, I told my husband, I would've gotten out of that situation! I would've done whatever it took. You see, a man had abducted a woman and her two small children in her own car. He kept them for several hours, repeatedly abusing the mother. She and her children made it out alive. I would have too...because the are two things I will fight for {albeit sometimes not very well}: my husband and my children.
I've learned over the past few years that family is worth fighting for, even when we're the very ones who make the choices that put us in situations where we'd rather give up. Family is worth spending countless, difficult hours in counseling to get to the root of a problem. Family is worth saying no to all the busyness. Family is worth carving out time to just be together. Family is worth the effort of fighting all the outside influences that would tear it apart.
I will do whatever it takes for my little family to survive and to thrive. What about you?
You see, I've never been one to fight for myself. I often do things I don't want or have time to do just so I won't make someone upset or angry. I often allow people to say things to me that I shouldn't allow. My friend often reminds me, Don't be a doormat.
Probably for the first time while watching one of those shows the other night, I told my husband, I would've gotten out of that situation! I would've done whatever it took. You see, a man had abducted a woman and her two small children in her own car. He kept them for several hours, repeatedly abusing the mother. She and her children made it out alive. I would have too...because the are two things I will fight for {albeit sometimes not very well}: my husband and my children.
I've learned over the past few years that family is worth fighting for, even when we're the very ones who make the choices that put us in situations where we'd rather give up. Family is worth spending countless, difficult hours in counseling to get to the root of a problem. Family is worth saying no to all the busyness. Family is worth carving out time to just be together. Family is worth the effort of fighting all the outside influences that would tear it apart.
I will do whatever it takes for my little family to survive and to thrive. What about you?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Just A Thought
We make judgments based on our limited knowledge of a person or situation.
More often than not, we don't have all the facts to make a correct judgment.
God knows all the facts...every detail...and still He forgives and restores.
What about us {those who seldom know all the facts}? Are we willing to forgive and restore? Or does our judgment cause us to pronounce a sentence of Get your act together, and keep it together for as long as I deem necessary, then maybe I'll forgive and restore you?
{I might be limping today...my toes are kinda sore now.}
More often than not, we don't have all the facts to make a correct judgment.
God knows all the facts...every detail...and still He forgives and restores.
What about us {those who seldom know all the facts}? Are we willing to forgive and restore? Or does our judgment cause us to pronounce a sentence of Get your act together, and keep it together for as long as I deem necessary, then maybe I'll forgive and restore you?
{I might be limping today...my toes are kinda sore now.}
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Process
Scratched the surface
Headed into the deep
Finding some answers
What is sown is reaped
Not so much doubt
More a working process
This finding out
Faith in progress
Working out salvation
Costly for sure
Priceless in the end
What is refined is pure
Headed into the deep
Finding some answers
What is sown is reaped
Not so much doubt
More a working process
This finding out
Faith in progress
Working out salvation
Costly for sure
Priceless in the end
What is refined is pure
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