I get frustrated, no, irrate at my children's fighting and whining. I mean, it drives me NUTS! I sometimes wonder how many times a day I am referee/consoler. It always begins with an obnoxious-sounding "Mooooooom!"
They whine about how the others are mistreating them. They whine when they don't get their way. They whine when anything doesn't go the way they planned. They fight about everything..."she looked at me the wrong way; she hit me; she said my picture wasn't pretty; she ate the last popsicle; she's smacking; she tricked me"...you name it, they fight and whine about it!
Some days, by the end of the day, I cannot WAIT until they go to bed. (Today happens to be one of those days!) I love their precious sleeping, non-talking, non-whining, non-fighting little faces. I love their still, angelic-looking little mouths. I love that they don't hit one another when they are asleep. I love that they don't tattle on each other when they're sleeping. I love that their little voices are absolutely silent for 8-to-10 hours. I LOVE when they sleep.
I wonder if God sometimes loves when I sleep...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Falling...Sometimes A Choice
This weekend I attended a birthday party for a friend. This party included dinner, Starbuck's, and the skating rink. All those who attended were 30-somethings, so skating is not part of our regular routine. Beforehand, a few bragged about what good skaters they'd been "back in the day." We were all silly and ready for a fun adventure, which we definitely had.
As we put on our skates and got on the floor, it took a few minutes to get steady on our skates. But, like riding a bike, skating comes back to the memory pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we were all acting silly again and skating like we did when we were 12.
Several people were taking pictures so we could all have some memories of the birthday skate party. The birthday girl decided she'd squat-skate and go under her friend's legs. The first attempt was surprisingly successful. She decided to do it again. So while the friend was dancing away with her back to the birthday girl, I was on the floor, camera in hand, ready to take a fabulous picture of another successful attempt. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well that time. The birthday girl went under friend's legs about the time that the friend was amidst a leaning-backwards dance move. The birthday girl knocked her friend's skates right out from under her, and they both landed on the floor. I captured a picture that has left me laughing all weekend!
Isn't life like that? We're happily dancing along, and something sneaks up behind us and tries to knock our feet right out from under us. It could be any number of things: loss of a job, a diagnosis, a confession from a cheating spouse, an admission of addiction from a loved one...you pick the scenario. When our eyes haven't been on the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, we suddenly have a decision to make when the scenario hits us. Unlike the friend above, we don't automatically fall. We have to decide whether we're going to fall and blame God, or whether we're going to trust God and allow Him to give us peace.
When my scenario hit me, I made small decisions, one after another, that led to a great big fall. My first decision was to blame God and get angry with Him. I knew He had the power to fix my scenario, so when He didn't act like the magic genie I wanted Him to, I decided God didn't really love me.
Falls hurt. They almost always make a mark, a wound of some kind. Sometimes it takes a long time to heal. Sometimes the wounds leave scars. But, no matter how hard the fall, how deep the wound, the length of time for healing or how big and ugly the scar, God is ready to pick you up from the fall, heal your wounds, and turn your scar into a beautiful story of redemption.
The questions you must answer are: are you going to choose to fall? If so, how hard? Or, are you going to choose to trust that God is good, He loves you and has plans for you? Are you going to keep your eyes on Him, or take them off and allow life's scenarios to knock you off your feet? You always have a choice.
As we put on our skates and got on the floor, it took a few minutes to get steady on our skates. But, like riding a bike, skating comes back to the memory pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we were all acting silly again and skating like we did when we were 12.
Several people were taking pictures so we could all have some memories of the birthday skate party. The birthday girl decided she'd squat-skate and go under her friend's legs. The first attempt was surprisingly successful. She decided to do it again. So while the friend was dancing away with her back to the birthday girl, I was on the floor, camera in hand, ready to take a fabulous picture of another successful attempt. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well that time. The birthday girl went under friend's legs about the time that the friend was amidst a leaning-backwards dance move. The birthday girl knocked her friend's skates right out from under her, and they both landed on the floor. I captured a picture that has left me laughing all weekend!
Isn't life like that? We're happily dancing along, and something sneaks up behind us and tries to knock our feet right out from under us. It could be any number of things: loss of a job, a diagnosis, a confession from a cheating spouse, an admission of addiction from a loved one...you pick the scenario. When our eyes haven't been on the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, we suddenly have a decision to make when the scenario hits us. Unlike the friend above, we don't automatically fall. We have to decide whether we're going to fall and blame God, or whether we're going to trust God and allow Him to give us peace.
When my scenario hit me, I made small decisions, one after another, that led to a great big fall. My first decision was to blame God and get angry with Him. I knew He had the power to fix my scenario, so when He didn't act like the magic genie I wanted Him to, I decided God didn't really love me.
Falls hurt. They almost always make a mark, a wound of some kind. Sometimes it takes a long time to heal. Sometimes the wounds leave scars. But, no matter how hard the fall, how deep the wound, the length of time for healing or how big and ugly the scar, God is ready to pick you up from the fall, heal your wounds, and turn your scar into a beautiful story of redemption.
The questions you must answer are: are you going to choose to fall? If so, how hard? Or, are you going to choose to trust that God is good, He loves you and has plans for you? Are you going to keep your eyes on Him, or take them off and allow life's scenarios to knock you off your feet? You always have a choice.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
My Greatest Fears...Now
I have always been afraid of heights. When I was 10 years old, my family lived near a railroad trestle. One afternoon I was along with the family on a walk, and everyone decided to cross the trestle. I was not just scared; I almost panicked. I remember crossing behind my Mom, ever so slowly, hoping I wouldn't fall into the water below. I made it almost to the other side when one of my legs went down between the tracks. My Mom turned, helped me up, and we finished crossing. I don't remember anything about the return trip. I think I must've blocked it from my memory! Since then, I've been terrified of heights. (Strange that I like roller coasters!) On a recent trip to the Nashville kids' science center, I had to let Mark go up to the top floor in a cool maze with the girls because I couldn't stand the height of it!
But, there are two things I fear now more than heights. I fear myself, and I fear pride. I am terrified that pride will creep back into my life. And, I am terrified that I will reach a point where I will trust myself instead of trusting God. I know we are not to live in fear; but, when you've allowed pride and self-trust to so consume you that you fall a long distance, you are afraid to let it happen again. I am constantly reminding myself to be humble before God, to seek His guidance, and to obey.
I used to worry so much about what others thought of me that I would do just about anything to make a good impression. That is how I reached the point of what I call church burn-out. If I was asked to do something, I automatically said "yes" because I was afraid that other people wouldn't think I was a good Christian if I said "no." (btw...I wasn't!) I didn't seek God's guidance. In fact, I didn't even think about seeking it. Now, I don't take a step without it.
But, it is a constant struggle, battle really, to make sure pride doesn't enter back into my life. I question my motives for just about everything I do because I want to make sure God receives glory for anything that happens in my life. I'm positive there are and will still be prideful moments, and occasions when I trust myself; but more than anything, I want those times to become fewer and fewer.
But, there are two things I fear now more than heights. I fear myself, and I fear pride. I am terrified that pride will creep back into my life. And, I am terrified that I will reach a point where I will trust myself instead of trusting God. I know we are not to live in fear; but, when you've allowed pride and self-trust to so consume you that you fall a long distance, you are afraid to let it happen again. I am constantly reminding myself to be humble before God, to seek His guidance, and to obey.
I used to worry so much about what others thought of me that I would do just about anything to make a good impression. That is how I reached the point of what I call church burn-out. If I was asked to do something, I automatically said "yes" because I was afraid that other people wouldn't think I was a good Christian if I said "no." (btw...I wasn't!) I didn't seek God's guidance. In fact, I didn't even think about seeking it. Now, I don't take a step without it.
But, it is a constant struggle, battle really, to make sure pride doesn't enter back into my life. I question my motives for just about everything I do because I want to make sure God receives glory for anything that happens in my life. I'm positive there are and will still be prideful moments, and occasions when I trust myself; but more than anything, I want those times to become fewer and fewer.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
End of summer??
I love summer. I love that it's schedule-free and that the kids spend most of their days playing with friends. I spent the summer dreading the start of school.
One week before school was scheduled to start, we made the decision to homeschool. I gave homeschooling a lot of thought last year, but didn't have the nerve to do it. And, I didn't plan on doing it this year. And, before last year, I would've told you that homeschooling wasn't even an option for me. I liked my freedom a little too much.
But, the more hectic life became last year, and the more homework the girls had, the more I started to consider homeschooling as an option. We were tired ALL the time. And, of course, there was the issue of sending my children to a government institution where I had no say in what they were learning.
So...I prayed over two days, and God led me to the homeschooling process. I was a nervous wreck! But God has supplied! And, we LOVE it! We're not overscheduled or overworked. We get plenty of rest. And, believe it or not, the girls still have friends to play with. The best part is knowing that my children are being taught by one of the two people who love them more than anyone (next to God). And, they are being taught Christian values in every aspect of their educations.
Summer seems to have lingered a longer at our home this year. We get schoolwork finished early, and we get to spend our afternoons in lazy, summer fashion. And, this year, I don't dread fall and "shorter days" quite as much.
One week before school was scheduled to start, we made the decision to homeschool. I gave homeschooling a lot of thought last year, but didn't have the nerve to do it. And, I didn't plan on doing it this year. And, before last year, I would've told you that homeschooling wasn't even an option for me. I liked my freedom a little too much.
But, the more hectic life became last year, and the more homework the girls had, the more I started to consider homeschooling as an option. We were tired ALL the time. And, of course, there was the issue of sending my children to a government institution where I had no say in what they were learning.
So...I prayed over two days, and God led me to the homeschooling process. I was a nervous wreck! But God has supplied! And, we LOVE it! We're not overscheduled or overworked. We get plenty of rest. And, believe it or not, the girls still have friends to play with. The best part is knowing that my children are being taught by one of the two people who love them more than anyone (next to God). And, they are being taught Christian values in every aspect of their educations.
Summer seems to have lingered a longer at our home this year. We get schoolwork finished early, and we get to spend our afternoons in lazy, summer fashion. And, this year, I don't dread fall and "shorter days" quite as much.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Ms. Goody Two-Shoes and Mr. Nice Guy
We all know one. You know, the people we label as "Ms. Goody Two-Shoes" or "Mr. Nice Guy." They're the people that seem like they never do anything wrong. They never speak an unkind word, and they're always doing things for others. We usually secretly envy them. And, sometimes, we even think: they MUST be going to heaven...surely somebody that good goes to heaven.
My Daddy was (and still is) full of wise information. I remember him telling me one time that some good people would go to hell, and some bad people would go to heaven. Growing up as a preacher's kid (pk), I knew why he said that. But, the more I talk with people, I realize that many don't believe or understand that. Thus, today's post.
Just how good does one have to be to go to heaven? I recently heard someone explain that God treats us like we treat others, so it's important to be good to others. Oh, heavens! I'm so glad that's not true...because if it were, God may as well go ahead and strike me dead!
The Bible explains that in God's eyes, our good deeds are like filthy rags. Think nasty, disgusting, never-come-clean filthy. That's what our good deeds are like to Him. So, exactly how good do we have to be? Well, the Bible also says that there is none (not one single person) good...not even one! If that's true, then let me change the question:
How does one get to heaven?
Jesus gives us the answer: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by Me." We must believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died on the cross to accept the punishment for our sins, that He rose again on the third day, and that He is the only way we are made righteous before the Holy God. Wow! I just threw out some "religious words." So, I feel the need to explain in as simply a way as possible!
Sins - anything we do that breaks God's Law. Have you ever told a white lie? What about gossip?...Guilty? Me too. Those are sins. The Bible says that ALL have sinned and come short of God's glory.
Righteous - holy, free from all wrong.
So, what are we to do since we've all sinned and we need to be made righteous? Can we possibly be good enough, do enough to outweigh our sins and be made holy? Absolutely not. The only way to be made clean from sin, and to be made righteous is through Jesus. We must admit to God that we are sinners, and that we recognize that Jesus is the only way to be made righteous. We must accept His free gift of grace (receiving something you don't deserve...you can't earn this!), and put our faith (hoping and believing in what you can't see) in Him.
Back to my questions: How good does one have to be to go to heaven? And, how does one get to heaven? Heaven is the final destination. But, while on this earth, our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. You can't enjoy someone with whom you don't have a relationship. If you don't have a relationship with the Heavenly Father, you are not a child of God. I beg you to abandon "good deeds" and enter into a relationship with the only One Who will never disappoint you!
My Daddy was (and still is) full of wise information. I remember him telling me one time that some good people would go to hell, and some bad people would go to heaven. Growing up as a preacher's kid (pk), I knew why he said that. But, the more I talk with people, I realize that many don't believe or understand that. Thus, today's post.
Just how good does one have to be to go to heaven? I recently heard someone explain that God treats us like we treat others, so it's important to be good to others. Oh, heavens! I'm so glad that's not true...because if it were, God may as well go ahead and strike me dead!
The Bible explains that in God's eyes, our good deeds are like filthy rags. Think nasty, disgusting, never-come-clean filthy. That's what our good deeds are like to Him. So, exactly how good do we have to be? Well, the Bible also says that there is none (not one single person) good...not even one! If that's true, then let me change the question:
How does one get to heaven?
Jesus gives us the answer: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by Me." We must believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died on the cross to accept the punishment for our sins, that He rose again on the third day, and that He is the only way we are made righteous before the Holy God. Wow! I just threw out some "religious words." So, I feel the need to explain in as simply a way as possible!
Sins - anything we do that breaks God's Law. Have you ever told a white lie? What about gossip?...Guilty? Me too. Those are sins. The Bible says that ALL have sinned and come short of God's glory.
Righteous - holy, free from all wrong.
So, what are we to do since we've all sinned and we need to be made righteous? Can we possibly be good enough, do enough to outweigh our sins and be made holy? Absolutely not. The only way to be made clean from sin, and to be made righteous is through Jesus. We must admit to God that we are sinners, and that we recognize that Jesus is the only way to be made righteous. We must accept His free gift of grace (receiving something you don't deserve...you can't earn this!), and put our faith (hoping and believing in what you can't see) in Him.
Back to my questions: How good does one have to be to go to heaven? And, how does one get to heaven? Heaven is the final destination. But, while on this earth, our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. You can't enjoy someone with whom you don't have a relationship. If you don't have a relationship with the Heavenly Father, you are not a child of God. I beg you to abandon "good deeds" and enter into a relationship with the only One Who will never disappoint you!
Scar
I have a scar that's part of me.
I hide it well...I don't want you to see.
Layers upon layers disguise
The part of me that was unwise.
I fear you won't understand;
Instead, an explanation you'll demand.
I have no good or valid reason,
Except to say it was a season.
Even though the wound has healed,
And my redemption has been sealed,
The scar remains a part of me.
And maybe one day I'll let you see.
I hide it well...I don't want you to see.
Layers upon layers disguise
The part of me that was unwise.
I fear you won't understand;
Instead, an explanation you'll demand.
I have no good or valid reason,
Except to say it was a season.
Even though the wound has healed,
And my redemption has been sealed,
The scar remains a part of me.
And maybe one day I'll let you see.
Friday, September 3, 2010
What's taking root in your soul?
When God wants me "get" something, He puts it in front of me repeatedly. Over the last several weeks, it's been Psalm 119. I mean, Psalm 119 is everywhere I turn: daily devotion articles, Sunday School study material, a new Bible study I'm looking into, etc. I love to read the Psalms, but lately, I keep winding up at Psalm 119. And, I keep asking God what it is that He wants me to learn from it. I have a feeling it may be a long learning process. After all, Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible.
Today, Psalm 119:20 stopped me in my reading. It says, "My soul is crushed with longing after Thine ordinances at all times." (NASB) Back up and read that again. If that doesn't stop you in your tracks, it should. It made me question if my soul is "crushed" (overwhelmed, consumed, breaking) with "longing" (desire) for God's "ordinances" (laws, regulations, rules, judgments, decisions, justifications) "at all times" (consistently, constantly).
Four years ago, I willingly and defiantly abandoned any desires for God's ordinances. It was an issue of the heart, a sin called pride. When pride is present in one's life, there's no room for the humility of desiring to obey God's commands. Pride creeps into one's life in the forms of superiority or inferiority. We must be careful to check ourselves for any evidence of pride, and repent when we find that it's present. In my case, pride crept in, and by the time I realized it, I was on a path of destruction. Proverbs 16:18 became a reality in my life: "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." (NASB)
I think I allowed pride to enter my life through small, seemingly innocent decisions. I didn't pray before I took on tasks. No matter how good a thing may be, it's not wise to take part unless God leads you there.
Over the past three years, I've learned that I cannot trust myself. I MUST take a matter before God for His approval before I can enter into a situation. So, this morning as I read Psalm 119:20, it struck a chord with me that my soul should continually be desiring God's decisions for my life. Without it, I'd be trusting myself and allowing pride to creep back into my life.
What about you? Is your soul, the deepest part of you, continually longing for God's ordinances? Or, has pride taken root in your soul? There's no room for both.
Today, Psalm 119:20 stopped me in my reading. It says, "My soul is crushed with longing after Thine ordinances at all times." (NASB) Back up and read that again. If that doesn't stop you in your tracks, it should. It made me question if my soul is "crushed" (overwhelmed, consumed, breaking) with "longing" (desire) for God's "ordinances" (laws, regulations, rules, judgments, decisions, justifications) "at all times" (consistently, constantly).
Four years ago, I willingly and defiantly abandoned any desires for God's ordinances. It was an issue of the heart, a sin called pride. When pride is present in one's life, there's no room for the humility of desiring to obey God's commands. Pride creeps into one's life in the forms of superiority or inferiority. We must be careful to check ourselves for any evidence of pride, and repent when we find that it's present. In my case, pride crept in, and by the time I realized it, I was on a path of destruction. Proverbs 16:18 became a reality in my life: "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." (NASB)
I think I allowed pride to enter my life through small, seemingly innocent decisions. I didn't pray before I took on tasks. No matter how good a thing may be, it's not wise to take part unless God leads you there.
Over the past three years, I've learned that I cannot trust myself. I MUST take a matter before God for His approval before I can enter into a situation. So, this morning as I read Psalm 119:20, it struck a chord with me that my soul should continually be desiring God's decisions for my life. Without it, I'd be trusting myself and allowing pride to creep back into my life.
What about you? Is your soul, the deepest part of you, continually longing for God's ordinances? Or, has pride taken root in your soul? There's no room for both.
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